(no subject)

[snaples]

Have to get up for work ...
                                     ... so tired of the routine, the traffic, the taxi-ing, the stress ...
It gets me out of the house ...
                                     ... pays the bills, keeps food on the table, allows us a roof ...

I have an intense desire to see people ...
                                     ... my social circle is shrinking, too needy, too demanding, too dependent ...

My husband is tired all the time ...
                                                   ... the illness, the pills, the hernias, the workload because his wife is tired and anxious ...
He chides me for not wanting to do anything ...
                                                                      ... i chide him for keeping me, holding me, kissing me, loving me ...
The kids are demanding ...
                                       ... needy, defenseless, beautiful, honest, overwhelming, horrifying, cruel, loving, my soul, my life, they need me ...

Pressure on the shoulders and the back ...
                                                              ... I tire of holding up my world, my air, my life, my things, my soul ...

I cry in my sleep ...
                          ... because no-one should see me cry during the day.
But this is not a cry for help ...
                                           ... a bit of words to release the soul, let the words cry for me, my pain etched out and not etched in ...
Sleep now ...
                  ... a little more contended, perhaps.  Cuddle, stretch, yawn, smile ...
                                                                                                                         ... drift.

... have to get up for work.