snaples | Life Lessons, Cont'd

Life, according to me.

An ongoing record of twisted life lessons acquired the hard way.

09 I can distinguish and pinpoint the location of my child’s cry in a store packed with hundreds of mothers carrying their own crying children. I have decided that this makes me Superwoman.

10 Find humor at work. You spend an average of 40 hours a week there. There’s no point griping about it; instead, duct tape stuff to your co-worker’s desk and enjoy the hilarity that ensues over other people’s frustration.

11 I have come to appreciate, as a mother, the allure of appearing omniscient to my kids.

12 I acknowledge and accept the fact that as I age, I am becoming more and more like Mrs Rachel, who used to peer through her blinds at those brats that keep trampling in her yard or skimming too close to her car with their bikes. Now I take sadistic pleasure in parking my car, and that of my husband’s, in such a way that makes it impossible for the kids upstairs to negotiate any quick detour through my property.

13 Upon reflection, I’ve decided that if I were to meet Professor Snape in school as a student, I’d probably be terrified, not turned on.

14 I gripe about 5 minutes lost talking to a telemarketer on the phone, but it doesn’t seem to matter when I waste 5 hours sitting at a computer fighting orcs and dragons. I have also decided I don't particularly care. I need that epic mount, man!