snaples | Thoughts on warnings

I've been debating a long while whether to write something about this topic or not. Certainly, a whole slew of people have put forth some very intelligent, much more profound opinions on the matter, and as I struggle still with the idea of putting words to my thoughts, I was a bit wary about dipping my toes into something that might swallow me whole.

But ... I will do so anyway, because I do want to say something about it (however incoherent it might be, apologies in advance!).

I am not a rape survivor. I am not an abuse survivor. It is physically, morally and psychologically impossible for me to understand what it is to be one, and I will never pretend otherwise. Them telling me what is to be a rape survivor is exactly the same as me describing to my husband why driving near an airport is a trigger; why driving alone at night is a trigger; why crowds are a trigger. I am agoraphobic, and the whole world is my fear. For me to try and describe this illness to someone is often frustrating because my audience will sometimes not know what to answer, what to say, how to act, or feel what it is I'm feeling. Some will empathize, others will ridicule. It is the world, some emotionally stunted people will ridicule what they cannot understand and preach the right way; their way. Those who are evolved, bring action to their empathy.

My husband, who has never had a panic attack in all his life, approaches my illness with pro-action. He asks me before going anywhere if I will be anxious; if yes, he urges me not to forget my ativans, to breathe and meditate with him, and he will be there throughout the experience. It has helped me.

Me putting a warning on fic is the same way my husband prevents anxiety by asking one simple question: Will this area (in fic's case, story) bother you? I do not write simply for myself. I DO write for an audience, and my goal is to reach as many in that audience as possible. If I turn them off by springing uncomfortable subjects at them, I am hurting FAR more than just myself as a writer; I may scar someone, I may trigger something, I may bring up uncomfortable emotions. As a writer of questionable subjects, I do like to bring those uncomfortable emotions up -- but the kind that is sought, not the kind someone would have avoided had they known.

I've warned for character death, and blood play, and abuse ... it's never bothered me, and I am that much happier. I've actually had people tell me 'thanks for warning btw, and sorry I didn't read it, <such and such topic> is not my thing, but looking forward to your next!"

And honestly, that makes me even happier.

I apologize for the disjointed nature of this post ... I am not that coherent when it comes to putting down my thoughts as so many of you are, but I hope I've done my part in making my opinion public.

EDIT: At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite reading the above, I do acknowledge that bits and pieces of fiction have been posted in my journal without proper warning -- this will be remedied. I was speaking more generally when I had a webpage and all my fiction was housed there ... I had explicit warnings with key words to describe them, something I should do even with small bits of fiction posted here -- and perhaps especially so.